deanloh.org

absolutely no design. but helluva stories!

Sleepless nights Archive

July 27, 2008 @ 2:28 pm

My Love Stories

Friends who read my blog got a little concerned with my recent posts; as I looked through them again myself, I couldn’t help but agree that I sounded like a whiner who is desperate for love. That set me on thinking mode, I started to think about relationships I had in the past.

I do not know how can I deliver this without sounding like I was bragging, but I did realize I was never short of dates and girlfriends in the last 20 years; I had my first “girlfriend” when I was 14. Even without counting in those puppy loves I had during my school years, I have dated more than a dozen of girls in my adulthood. Read rest of story…

Filed under Sleepless nights · 7 Comments »

July 24, 2008 @ 2:47 am

Reminder of the Day

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”

- Dedicated to those with broken heart

Filed under Sleepless nights · No Comments »

June 12, 2008 @ 2:21 am

The Joyous Day of My Life

One of my client-to-be, a husband and wife team who tried to start a business in Singapore, was turned down by registrar of companies initially for they being foreigners. So they went ahead and applied for permanent residents status. Two days ago they received the approval letter, jumping joy the wife wrote and told me the good news.

So I wrote back to congratulate them, and all of a sudden it reminded me of the day I received my PR approval, it was in October of 2001, at that joyous moment of my life, the person whom I cared a lot happened to be there standing next to me; which made a perfect double-happiness!

The kind of joy I had, was the kind of joy I would feel like crying. The kind of joy when I could not stop giving myself a pat on my back. The kind of joy I wished I could dash out to the street and yell out to the world: “I have made it!!!” The kind of joy I will remember even years later.

The kind of joy I miss so much. The kind of joy I have never had since then. The kind of joy, I wonder if I will have again, ever…

And I miss being happy.

Filed under Sleepless nights · No Comments »

October 24, 2007 @ 1:06 am

Try Or Try Not, There’s Just Do It.

Sometimes, I hate having to think of the title, so I’d just use whatever that came up my mind the moment the cursor landed in the title field. This time, I thought about Master Yoda’s famous quote “Do, or do not, there is no try!” To make it fun, I modified the sentences a little, the concept remains. See, it’s not that difficult to be creative.

I received a call from a lecturer in Ngee Ann Poly today, she heard my interview over the radio last week, so she went on and checked my website and got my contact number from there. She’d like to invite me to go over to give a talk to the students about web design, a down to earth kind of talk, i.e. nothing on technical mambo jumbo but more on practical aspects of web design. She told me that they do teach about web design in the school, but they only teach about what’s in the book; and she wants me to talk about those not in the book. In which I think I’m going to like the idea a lot, because I never read any book!

One thing you might not know about Cancerian, is they like to be center of attention, a lot. And I confess that I did. All my life, I have always wanted to be center of attention every where I go; but I’m not the type who would scream out loud or do some stupid things to get attention kind of attention seeker, rather, I’d chose to do things differently, if lucky enough, in the process, people would start noticing me. That kind of attention turns me on a lot.

Some times, I hate this characteristic of me, because the same characteristic tends to get the better of me especially when it comes to relationships. I would not tell her that I need some attention, I would do something differently and hoping she would notice it. Now, this part of me makes me feel like I’m sissy, because why? I thought only girls would behave like this. But then again, other than this, the rest of me is rather manly you know? So I should be alright, right? Damn it, I probably shouldn’t even write about this… And what is it I was supposed to write again?

Filed under Sleepless nights · No Comments »

May 2, 2007 @ 2:12 am

Sleepless

When I see people who are working as employees, and making heck lot more money than I am, I get sleepless. But when next morning comes, when I see I could choose the time to wake up, all those thoughts go away — *snaps* — just like that!

Filed under Sleepless nights · No Comments »

January 4, 2007 @ 1:50 am

Coward vs Hero

Sleepless night.

Someone once asked me, what does it take to be one’s own boss. My answer to him was: to be able to survive the thought of not getting the paycheck anymore.

Sounds like easy? Think again! How it’s like when there is no more paycheck waiting for you at the end of the month, you are wondering if you will have enough money to pay the rent (or the mortgage), the bills, the nice dinner you used to enjoy every other week, the gift you have promised to buy for you love one(s), and so on.

Those who still live with their parents may not find it a big deal, but for me who am totally on my own, let me tell you one thing: it scares the shit out of me, not just at times, but all of the times!

The only thing that comforts me, is when I remembered what that Ssgt Struecker said in Black Hawk Down: “The difference between being a coward and hero is not whether you’re scared, it’s what you do while you’re scared.”

So what do I do when I’m scared? I’ll first pray, reminding myself that God is with me. Then I’ll go out and make things happen!

And as a matter of fact, I have survived the thought of not getting paycheck. I mean, I’m already out here, see?

Filed under Sleepless nights · 1 Comment »

Recently Wrote

Archive by Months

Archive by Categories

Elsewhere

See Pictures

About

This is Dean Loh's personal blog.
Dean started blogging since 1999. In the beginning he wrote a lot of personal stuffs, so personal till he decided to shut down the blog as he didn't think it was a good idea for his girlfriend to read about his ex-girlfriends.
Then, shortly after he got bored, so he started to blog again, and he wrote a lot of work stuffs, so much about work till he decided to shut it down as he didn't think it was a good idea for his boss to read about his ex-bosses.
Now, Dean is bored again, and since he doesn't have girlfriend (at the moment) and he doesn't work for any boss, he thought, he might as well blog again. And this time, it is going to be just about everything!

Meta