Tag bittersweet

Entries 5 Total

My Love Stories

Jul 27, ’08 2:28 PM

Friends who read my blog got a little concerned with my recent posts; as I looked through them again myself, I couldn’t help but agree that I sounded like a whiner who is desperate for love. That set me on thinking mode, I started to think about relationships I had in the past.

I do not know how can I deliver this without sounding like I was bragging, but I did realize I was never short of dates and girlfriends in the last 20 years; I had my first “girlfriend” when I was 14. Even without counting in those puppy loves I had during my school years, I have dated more than a dozen of girls in my adulthood.

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The Joyous Day of My Life

Jun 12, ’08 2:21 AM

One of my client-to-be, a husband and wife team who tried to start a business in Singapore, was turned down by registrar of companies initially for they being foreigners. So they went ahead and applied for permanent residents status. Two days ago they received the approval letter, jumping joy the wife wrote and told me the good news.

So I wrote back to congratulate them, and all of a sudden it reminded me of the day I received my PR approval, it was in October of 2001, at that joyous moment of my life, the person whom I cared a lot happened to be there standing next to me; which made a perfect double-happiness!

The kind of joy I had, was the kind of joy I would feel like crying. The kind of joy when I could not stop giving myself a pat on my back. The kind of joy I wished I could dash out to the street and yell out to the world: “I have made it!!!” The kind of joy I will remember even years later.

The kind of joy I miss so much. The kind of joy I have never had since then. The kind of joy, I wonder if I will have again, ever…

And I miss being happy.

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Friends Wanted

Mar 27, ’08 9:25 PM

I got myself an Xbox 360 at last, together with a 32″ LCD TV from the recent IT Show. Believing it will solve my problem of loneliness. Then I realized it wasn’t much of fun playing alone all of the time also. So I still feel lonely. When I feel lonely, I feel like a loser, I feel worthless, meaningless, direction-less, pointless, lifeless.

I need some new friends.

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Farewell Note

Sep 9, ’07 9:22 PM

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Dear clients, partners and friends in Singapore,

Some of you may already knew that I’ll be moving out of Singapore in about two weeks time, I’m going to China for good. This notice is to make it official.

First of all this is not a sudden decision, I have planned on it for quite a while; no doubt my original plan was to do it slightly later, but, well, circumstances change.

Seven years ago before I came to Singapore, people told me all sorts of horrible things about Singaporeans, I actually believed what they said. After being here for years now, I must say that my perspective have changed, I mean, I can actually see it for myself the horrible things about Singaporeans…

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Coward vs Hero

Jan 4, ’07 1:50 AM

Sleepless night.

Someone once asked me, what does it take to be one’s own boss. My answer to him was: to be able to survive the thought of not getting the paycheck anymore.

Sounds like easy? Think again! How it’s like when there is no more paycheck waiting for you at the end of the month, you are wondering if you will have enough money to pay the rent (or the mortgage), the bills, the nice dinner you used to enjoy every other week, the gift you have promised to buy for you love one(s), and so on.

Those who still live with their parents may not find it a big deal, but for me who am totally on my own, let me tell you one thing: it scares the shit out of me, not just at times, but all of the times!

The only thing that comforts me, is when I remembered what that Ssgt Struecker said in Black Hawk Down: “The difference between being a coward and hero is not whether you’re scared, it’s what you do while you’re scared.”

So what do I do when I’m scared? I’ll first pray, reminding myself that God is with me. Then I’ll go out and make things happen!

And as a matter of fact, I have survived the thought of not getting paycheck. I mean, I’m already out here, see?

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