I watched in awe (short of screaming like a high school girl who meets her idol for the first time,) when Sony revealed the gameplay trailer of upcoming God of War for the first time during E3 2016.
Kratos (the good guy in the game, who is also my biggest favorite in the world of Playstation,) was teaching his son how to hunt. After his son missed the shot and apologised to him, he said this to his son: “Do not be sorry. Be better!” A message that, so hit the nail on the head! It’s something I have always believed myself.
Saying sorry is important. It shows that you recognised there is a problem to be fixed. But fixing the problem, is even more important! Especially when you are able to. Do not make the mistake of using “sorry” as the way to get out of a situation. The only way to get out of a situation without having to feel sorry, is to fix it. Period.
Now, I hope you will enjoy the video as much as I did (still feel like screaming like a high school girl who meets her idol for the first time!)
Imagine for a second: You are the owner of a store. (What you sell doesn’t matter in this story. Just imagine it’s something anyone can buy.)
In came couple of individuals:
- A smartly dressed male ― Long sleeves shirt, well-pressed long pants, leather shoes;
- A dressed down younger male ― Over-sized t-shirt, Bermuda shorts, sneakers;
- A lady ― Elegantly dressed, heavy makeup, wears Prada;
- A teenage girl ― Carrying a backpack with her eyes glued on the phone throughout the entire time;
- A young lady ― Casually dressed, looking like she has just come out from workout session;
- A mid-50 man ― Holding a copy of newspaper under his armpit, short sleeves, shorts and sandals. With visible bulk in his shirt pocket, looking somewhat like a stack of cash.
Question: Which one of them will be your customer?
Answer: The one who puts something at the checkout counter and pays!
Moral of the story: The description of the individuals were there to confuse you. How they look and who they are totally do not matter. Each person who walks up to you can potentially be your customer, but it is the one who ultimately takes action will become your real customer. Until that happens, treat everyone equally nice. Remember: You will never be in one’s debt by being nicer.
Jude, you wont remember this. You told me one time that you dreamed of a monster and you were very scared. My first question back to you was how does the monster look. You told me it has sharp claws. At that point, I believe 50% of what you said, and the rest were probably made up by yourself… But guess what? That was how you have learned to face your fear.
Most people, when faced with fear, they chose to run away. I’m not saying it’s wrong. Fight or flight. Natural instinct. But you have got to at least know what you were afraid of. Once you have recognised your real fear, trust me, you will find the solution and the courage to face it!
“The difference between being a coward and a hero is not whether you’ve scared. It’s what you do while you’re scared.” Says Major Jeff Struecker who was sent to Somalia for an almost suicidal mission.
Everyone has fear. I have had my fair share of fear. My biggest fear is whether I’ll be a good provider for you boys and Mommy. But what do I do to overcome the fear? I find better ways to work. I work with good people! Basically, I work even harder!
I have never run away from my fear. I eat fear for breakfast, lunch and dinner! I hope you will, too!
The closest English translation I could find for “做人” is “behave”. But it is so much more than that! Many people who have studied a lot, who have become doctor, professor, even scholar, but still suck at 做人! 做人 is about knowing what to do, and when to do it. It’s a very difficult art to be mastered as it often questions one’s moral integrity. Which is the main reason why I’m quite bad at it; not because I don’t know what to do, but I often chose not to do what I should do. You have to learn this on your own, but you cannot master this without first understanding how to 看人!
“出门看天色 进门看脸色” -― I learned this from your grandfather, who learned from your great-grandmother. Basically it means understanding people is as important as understanding weather. The problem nowadays, more people care about the weather than the people! Before you major in any study, learn to major in people. Learn to understand why people do the things they do. Say the things they say. Behave the way they behave. This is a never ending study, because people can change faster than the weather. Understanding people is only part of the journey, next thing you need to master is: “做人”.
Do you see Bruce Wayne goes around and tell people he is Batman?
“The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room” — Frank Lucas said it (or was it Denzel Washington?) Doesn’t matter who said it, but I’m a big fan of the quote.
Don’t talk loud, don’t talk big; unless you are delivering a speech; and you have substantial research evidence to back you up. Otherwise, it is wiser to be perceived as stupid by keeping your mouth shut, then to open your mouth and confirm it.
If you are really good, you don’t have to do much to prove it, people will find out and pass the word around.
Do not despair if people fail to see the good in you; it probably means you still have much to learn, or you have been doing good to the wrong people.
Return your tray. You see Papa and Mama do this every time we ate at McDonald’s or KFC, or whenever there is a tray return station.
This is not just about “being nice”, it shapes our character. How you do one thing, is how you do anything. If you can’t bring yourself to do small things like returning your tray, you probably can’t do greater things!
Just think about this: If Papa works at McDonald’s and eventhough it is my job to collect the trays, will you not want to help me anyway?
Especially to Jude, you will find this familiar. I have been reminding you this from the moment you started to talk. You know I take this very seriously. No matter what you do, it is very important that you do it properly. Especially when there are others who depend on you to do it properly. A pilot must do his job properly because the life of everyone on board the flight depends on him. A street cleaner must do his job properly or no amount of sophisticated-looking high rises can make the city look good if it was standing on a littered ground. It’s more than just being responsible, it defines your character! So remember: do things must do properly, don’t do properly don’t do!
Learn to make decisions. Learn to make decisions quick. I have ever come across men — grown men who couldn’t decide what to eat for lunch! If you were on battlefield you would not want to fight alongside with these men! Learn to be responsible for your decisions. The bad news is you may make some wrong decisions along the way. Good news is, the more bad decisions you have made, the better you become in making right decisions. Remember: “Not making a decision” is also a decision — except it’s often a bad one (奶奶 say one).
When you have made up your mind to do something, do it until it gets done. Don’t quit. When things don’t work, take a break and think about what different ways can you try. Don’t try the same way over and over again and expect different results. That’s called stupid! (Or gambling!) Not everything we do in life will end up with something, but if you don’t do anything you will definitely gain nothing.